God has a way of telling you it's all ok. that he promised to never leave you. that he'll finish what he ask you to start, inspite of you. it's perspective. it's either humility or insignificance. it's either encouragement or scorn. or maybe it's both. maybe it's neither. or maybe it's a bit of either and/or both.
or maybe it's to show me who, what and how a person i am. a procrastinator, a quitter. i can push myself to complete 6 rounds on the track. but i seem to be less determined in the more "important" and "real" things of this life. i blame it on circumstances, blame it on fuckers. but who cares about that except maybe God and i. i retreat the moment the going gets tough. i have a tendency to do that. when i'm sad, i retreat. when i don't get my way, i retreat. when i'm confronted, i retreat.
but the world moves on with or without you. it's either something to smile about, or lament. it's either a burden lifted from you or suffocating you. is there such a thing as a right perspective? maybe not. there are always 2 sides to a coin. the head and the tail. the piority. the positive and the negative.
everyone has issues. and maybe when i learn and fully comprehend that, i'll love myself more and be less defensive. because not everything revolves around you. not a to-put-you-in-your- place statement. rather a perspective that helps you laugh off many things that happen to you, around you and with you. be open about things. and see God's love for almost anybody. fuckers alike. where there is love, there will be hate. but love only belongs to God. so if i hate, i need God to love. and only God can love, so may God love through me despite of my hate.
God has a way of telling you it's all ok. j's ok.
it really depends...
on what you're looking for.
how you look at it;
will define each
and most of the silly
decisions we call.
if you're running a marathon
then you gotta know how to pace yourself.
sometimes you run
sometimes you walk
sometimes you jog
sometimes you sprint
sometimes if it hurts too bad,
maybe you take a breather
but you're still
always
looking forward
moving forward.
you're always fuelling yourself
refuelling yourself
with water,
with air,
with thoughts,
with aspirin,
with love,
with your eyes,
with just your ears,
with your passion,
with your dreams,
with your world,
with your past,
with your present,
with your heartbeat
but.
maybesometimes...
just going through the motion.
yet you still run.
if it's a marathon,
and you sprint the first few seconds,
in the next few hours,
you might start wanting to give up
and any longer,
you might give up,
completely.
and then it's given up
and never to be again.
or would you rather steady your step
find that momentum to swing into
listen to the rythym of your breathing
join the murmur of your fragile heart
hear the music of the wind gently stroking your ear drums
watch the moments floating by
hold the hand that reaches out for you
and believe that... you'll make it?
that everything... will just be right?
if i'm running this marathon
this marathon that i think is right
is good
that is ours
then i'll run like it'll never end.
i'll run like i'm being carried
i'll run like i'm in a dream
i'll run in the fields that never tire
that never finishes its trail.
if i'm running this marathon.
i'll run.
like i've never ran before.
i'll run.
like i know how to run.
i'll run.
because you're running beside.
finally with me.
always with me.
i'll run, baby
because
you're running along with me.
PassionART 2 was amazing.
it's precious. because i know it's God.
but still i can't grasp it. it's not mine to hold.
not by might, not by strength, but by the spirit of the Lord.
there is this bunch of people i go lunch with.
one of the guys came up to me today and secretly commented, "i like how you look today". and i was like dumbfounded. one, i didn't think he was capable of saying such things to me. two, he's married with a baby kid. three, he had a cheeky smile that he seemed to be trying to hide.
i'm putting off watching pulp fiction.
one, becuase i keep thinking i wanna paint, but i feel uninspired and unenthusiastic. two, because it's a special gift. three, i'm just scared i won't enjoy it because you love it so much.
3 things i feel about myself currently
one, boring. two, unfulfilled. three, lost.
3 people i wanna talk to now
one, romain. two, raf. three, noone.
 | [DRAFT] becoming | May 4, '07 12:43 AM
for everyone |
i'm such a koala bear and it's nice to find another koala bear.
i'm such a nocturnal animal and it's nice to find another of my kind.
i'm becoming so ill-disciplined but i'm thoroughly and pleasantly surprised by how much liberty i've been given.
interesting how broad family dinner table talk can hit the nail on the head- forbading wambam foreign invasion!
Dear all - due to great
audience demand, there will be additional shows
of the WildCards on the evenings of 21 and 22 April at 8pm.
However pls note that not all the plays from the daytime shows will be
performed. Please note the plays below:
Saturday
21st April
8pm
$20
Old Friend
Smoke
On Love
Parallel Pancakes
Who is Catherine Seah May Ann ?
The Picnic
Mrs Someone
Tailored to fit
Jump
Sunday
22nd April
8pm
$20
Pure Sugar
Mission Unaccomplished
Marr(ed)iage
The Complaint (Presented as a reading)
Sisters
The Duty
Your Son is Dead
Misconception
Dragon's Lair
As before, tickets can be purchased from the Arts House
i'm sooooo excited. i'm really excited about the piece. it's one of the few things i'm living for these days.
i hate the world and everything that's in it.
do you know how hypocritical i can be?
or how bitchy i can be?
or how petty i can be?
Whiner 1
i hate girls with no brains.
i hate girls who think they are cool.
i hate girls who pretend to be on your side but think otherwise beneath their hide.
i hate girls who talk about lingerie and FHM so openly as if trying to prove a point.
i hate girls who say " i like the way you are coz you do whatever you want and say whatever you want", but secretly they eye you suspiciously.
what's up with you all? actually what's up with YOU?
Whiner 2
i am not a racist.
i even think i feel more relaxed and myself when i talk to non-chinese people.
i think alot more angmos are cuter than local guys.
but i hate it that i get served after an angmo guy who ordered the same thing as me but ordered much much later than i did. no apologies. no deal.
maybe i'm going through a crash phase.
Whiner 3
i hate being treated like a princess, because i feel vulnerable.
i like riding in a carriage everyday.
i hate not knowing.
i like thinking i can elope.
i would approach a mama bear with her cubs.
That's the way i am.
maybe i really choose to be in a bubble.
things are better in rainbow colours.
i think i love you.
i think i like you.
it's hard to say.
Salene, you're a Passionate Partner Love or lust? You probably don't ask that question too much — they're both important to a passionate soul like you. This doesn't mean that you play the field. You just love getting swept up in your emotions, and you want to keep desire alive in your long-term relationships. You don't mind taking the initiative in the relationship department, and you expect the same level of enthusiasm and attentiveness from your partner. Whether you prefer amorous walks on the beach or impulsive kisses on the street, you feel energized when you're in love. Weak in the knees? You know it!
Salene, you're a Critic!
You're complex, thoughtful and never content to skate on the surface. Chances are you veer towards being so analytical and introspective that even positive qualities can seem like faults. The truth is that you have a very perceptive, gentle spirit.
You hate chaos at work and prefer a structured environment and sometimes you feel undervalued by your boss. There's a part deep inside you that's aching to make more money.
And that's just scratching the surface!
You must be havin' a laugh! You go for the clown type!
Laughter is the way to your heart. A man with a fab sense of humour is definitely the one for you! You want a Clown, someone who can laugh at himself and make you laugh, too. There's nothing more tedious than a man who takes himself too seriously. You know that if a chap is silly, he's generally self-confident and secure. Your man is a people magnet and everyone's favourite friend. There's never a dull moment with your clown nearby. You crave excitement and a bit of a laugh, and your clown enhances those things in your life. You probably think life is too short to spend it without a smile. Your witty lad will ensure that that doesn't happen - his light hearted and silly ways make everything a little bit brighter
hahaha i took this test esmond sent me. esmond of all people.. but anyway.. hahahh it's true!!!!i can't take guys who take themself too seriously. need to lighten up!!! yeahhh! i love darlings who smile. smiles are permanent stamps in my memory. attention boys of the world, if you're not a clown, take a step back.. ahahahahahah!=)
| Risen | Mar 26, '06 11:37 AM
for everyone |
 Here's to Risen'06!
CMC Youth Ministry Easter Production.
Come come.
Should be good fun.=)
He'll take you to where your wildest dreams search. If only you believe. If only you ask. I know what can happen when you truly trust. Seek first his kingdom and righteousness and all else will be added onto you. So delight in the Lord and he'll give you the desires of your heart!!!!!
 My conversation with huihui this morning.
salene says: (3:37:43 PM)
i shared in a testimony at a youth camp recently how it's you who started my whole church affair. He used you to get to me!
hui says: (3:37:53 PM)
how did i
hui says: (3:38:03 PM)
ok lar. He did. inspite of myself
salene says: (3:38:14 PM)
you just asked me to easther service ad that's how it started
hui says: (3:38:19 PM)
well
hui says: (3:38:22 PM)
let me tell u why i did
hui says: (3:38:24 PM)
haha
salene says: (3:38:31 PM)
if u never asked me i'd never had gone and all these would never be
hui says: (3:38:36 PM)
eh
salene says: (3:38:37 PM)
ok why?
hui says: (3:38:42 PM)
actually i wasn that keen cause i was v busy lar den i got alot of work to do etc (cuz im so ks as usu)
salene says: (3:38:55 PM)
then?
hui says: (3:39:05 PM)
den i kept flippin over in my mind whether or not to ask u cuz i dunno how keen u will b. i dun even kno if u will b receptive etc cuz for so long uve not bn that int neway wad so i dunno if i in a sense, wanna 'waste my time'
salene says: (3:39:37 PM)
ahhahahhah!
hui says: (3:39:40 PM)
but i kno all this while that i shd la coz like i want my frens to kno God right etc
hui says: (3:39:56 PM)
so that nite before i slept
hui says: (3:39:59 PM)
i read e bible
hui says: (3:40:33 PM)
and came across the passage where Jesus was sharing e parable of the woman who lost her coin n searched the whole house for it and when she found it she celebrated for that one coin
hui says: (3:40:42 PM)
and that was how impt u were to God
hui says: (3:40:49 PM)
so i knew then that i had to ask u
hui says: (3:40:50 PM)
hurhur
salene says: (3:41:20 PM)
uh huh
hui says: (3:41:43 PM)
like how that coin is to the woman; seemingly insig and all to the rest of the world but all the world to her, so that is how you are to God.
hui says: (3:41:57 PM)
so i realize how impt it was
hui says: (3:42:02 PM)
to put away everything
hui says: (3:42:10 PM)
and extend the invitation firmly la
hui says: (3:42:26 PM)
altho it was far etc etc and all those other trivial inconvinienes
hui says: (3:42:33 PM)
so yup
hui says: (3:42:42 PM)
God's bn waiting for u for a long time liao
hui says: (3:42:51 PM)
and He made sure i asked u
salene says: (3:42:53 PM)
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! so love!!!
salene says: (3:43:02 PM)
yes and he CHOSE YOU HUIHUI!
hui says: (3:43:07 PM)
haha
hui says: (3:43:09 PM)
and im honoured
I love huihui so much. we have such a funny friendship. we never do anything much but talk. we don't even hang ard each other much, right huihui. everytime i go out i wanna shop but huihui doesn't like that. But she's been my gooooooooooood friend since pri 4? we used to write to each other alot too. wrote poems for each other, angry ones, accusing ones, love ones. It's such a blessing to have a friend like huihui coz i know nothing will ever tear us apart. not the distance, not time, not anything. and to have God used her to reach out to me is even more precious. i'm smiling like a mad person now.
People come and go, in and out of our lifes way too much. But i know some people are just special people. I LOVE SPECIAL PEOPLE. i promise i love you all because i know somehow God has chosen to tie our hearts together. Blessed relationships are truely those that God has blessed and will continue to bless. cool huh. Lover of my soul.
| wonky | Nov 24, '05 2:26 PM
for everyone |
 2 highs make 1 sober.. so or it seems.
2 nights in a row i've just been visiting lala land.
haven't done this in a looooonnnng time.. it's like i'm back on the road kinda feeling.. hahha.. while last night i was retarded, tonight's just nice. feel collected; got my sanity back. 2 highs make 1 sober.
been meeting new people. i dun tik its my cup of tea but just easing with the flow.
non-committed conversations.
non-committed exchange.
non-committed storytelling.
non-committed cheers.
non-committed laughters.
one thing i know, that there's a BIG world out that.
meeting new people and getting to know their lives just expands my horizon.
keeps me open with possibilities about what i can do to my life. it's not always about wonky donky.
It's so different meeting with older people. It's amazing that i was discussing about God in Velvet last night with this 37 year old expat, fren's fren's fren. hahah in between martinis, some strawberry thing and what ever, we were discussing about his and my life and how he thinks that he takes to the Buddhism concept of God. God within. i was going wonky with the drinks but i remembered praying and telling god to give me the right words to say, mayb not convict him about what i believe in, but at least give him something more to thinker. He's had an amazing life- going with the flow and taking chances making mistakes, but coming out from it having a totally cool and comfortable and sucessful and plentiful life. all his life, he's thought out of the box and takinig chances. It's alot about networking and just knowing all sorts of people, somehow somewhere. and there's one plus point to clubbing. it's not all bad. man, i live such an unexciting life compared to his. but at least i've got god. =). if he had such an amazing life not knowing the abundance in god, what more me whom god loves!=)hahah. so, God, get started!!!
smalll boys talk cock. it's really fun and entertaining hanging around high guys. They crackk me up by saying the zaniest nonsensical things ever. "this hoe is yellow, but look at this stella, it's gold man..." and then burst out laughing like it's the best joke ever. ERM.. ahahah but it's really funny la. i wanted to play with the lighter coz i just learnt the chic way to spark up the lighter and light a cigarette. and so this guy extinguished his cigarette 3 times so that i could have my fun. how retarded. so noissy. but i love watching. i love watching people doing things. Being themselves. Being retarded. It takes attention off me. it's not just always about me. it's ok la. i can't take this lifestyle, coz it puts me off emotional balance, but in retrospect, if i don't think about wonky donky, it's alot of fun.
why issit fun anyway. it's so non-committal and so temporal. But it's nice socialising i guess, knowing it's a big world out there. takes away the worry of the night also!!
if i finish my essay tomorrow, which i hope i'll be able to get started with in the first place, double o here i come. if 2 high makes 1 sober. what will 3 do? take the chance again? arrgghh decisions decisions and not even important decisions. So retarded.
tell me something, wonky donky. this ponky is fully zonky without tokky.
i need to study! but i need to write this if not i'll feeel like so unsettled.
it dawned on me today that it's such a big deal to give someone your soul. i mean you can either choose to give your soul to God or to the devil. and whatever the choice, the magnitude of such an expression is so HUGEEEEEE.. even when you give your soul to God, you're giving Him the very thing that lives, what more that lives eternally. and it's so important you know that u're giving ur soul to god because He's the only thing, for lack of an all-encompassing term, that is trustable and unchanging. It's such a huge deal and that's why everytime we choose to say Lord i give you my heart and my soul, it's such jubilation (that's how you spell it right) on God's part. That's the most important thing to god: that we give our souls to him because that's where it belongs. He bought us at a price and his side of the deal has been long done... it's our turn to hang onto him and say yes lord here i am..
wow. it's totally mindblowing.
and my theory of the circle it's truth for me. i'll come one full circle. so many times today this keeps getting my attention. i'll take the back seat now and watch it unfold. cool huh? =)
JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME!
JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME..haf you gone shopping with the big guy??.. ok call me retarded or whatever.. BUT JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME!!!
During the mission trip, in Thai Airways on the way to Lijiang, Joe, our mission team leader spoke to me about shopping with god and how god always help him to find good bargains. And i've always been fascinated! i always wonder how???.. always wanted to experience that for mysself.. and YES TODAY JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME!!!!!
2 days ago, there was this bazaar thing going on in the Forum at NUS.this dress caught my eye and i realie fell in love with it.$25. But i didn't have cash with me so i went to the atm nearby to draw money. But to my dismay, 2 guys were servicing that machine. i din noe where else in campus to go to draw money, so i decided to reserve the dress and come back the next day to get it. Wed, i was too lazy to go to school for lessons especially when the lectures that day was 5hrs apart. I thought i overheard the guy tending the shop say to someone else that they'll be there for 4 days, so i tot if i went back on thurdday, they'll still be there.
BUT on thursday, when i went to the FOrum, the bazzar was replaced by some IT exhibition.I WAS HORRIFIED and so disappointed. but i told God, "you cannot be like that that, i really liked that dress, you need to somehow show me where else to get it or let me meet the shop guy at the sde building." (there's where my studio is and where that guy is as well because he was a BRE student). But somehow in my spirit, i knew that it was "in God's plan". Of course i was horrified that i'll never be able to find that dress again. But i pleaded so hard with God to find me that exact dress again!!!!
So today, after lessons, i took a bus 33. Usually i'll take 30, but i don't know why today i tot to myself, i din mind the longer ride. 33 went past bugis street and suddenly i felt this excitement to go shopping at bugis street. i was tired but i felt like shopping. So i was saying to God that he must come shopping with me and hopefully he'll also help me find that dress. I felt God smiling quietly when i asked him if i should reallie just go shopping. 3 times i asked him, 3 times he just smiled. so i alighted the bus and went shopping.
winding through the alleys of bugis street, i kept praying and praying.. hahaha that was how much i wanted to find that dress. u noe it's funny, how i kept saying to myself, it's getting nearer. of course i wasn't sure if i was kidding myself. But anyway, i just prayed. HEY, you know what???...!!!! actuallie on the bus i was reading the parable of the persistent widowwww!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSHHHHHH!!!!!!!=)
anyway.. i just stepped into this shop with lots of flowery stuff. i was just looking through the racks when SUDDDEEEENNNDDDLLLLYYY I SPOTTED MY DRESSSSS!!!!.. THE EXACT DESIGN AND EVEN MORE DESIGNS TO CHOOSE FROM!!!.. and it was only $13!!!!!!!!!!i was so excited that i kept telling the lady at the shop how happy i was!!!!!!!!!!.. i wanted to say you know how much i was praying to find this dress, but i was too scared to do it.. so i din.. but at least now i'm telling you all righhhtttt=)..
ok sorry i know it's just a dresss.. i dunno if i reallie reallie like the dress now.. hahahaha BUT I TREASURE IT LOTS, because god came shopping with meeee!!!!!.. wahahhahahhahhaha... couldn't stop smiling as i was walking home.. mayb i'll wear it for christmas huh!.. =)
Go shopping with Jesus!.. He's such great company.. and he just loves giving surprises!!!! IN HIS TIMINGGGG!!! and GOD CARES EVEN ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGSSS!!!..i waiittttttt!!!!!
Luke 12:26-28
26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!
JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME!
JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME..haf you gone shopping with the big guy??.. ok call me retarded or whatever.. BUT JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME!!!
During the mission trip, in Thai Airways on the way to Lijiang, Joe, our mission team leader spoke to me about shopping with god and how god always help him to find good bargains. And i've always been fascinated! i always wonder how???.. always wanted to experience that for mysself.. and YES TODAY JESUS CAME SHOPPING WITH ME!!!!!
2 days ago, there was this bazaar thing going on in the Forum at NUS.this dress caught my eye and i realie fell in love with it.$25. But i didn't have cash with me so i went to the atm nearby to draw money. But to my dismay, 2 guys were servicing that machine. i din noe where else in campus to go to draw money, so i decided to reserve the dress and come back the next day to get it. Wed, i was too lazy to go to school for lessons especially when the lectures that day was 5hrs apart. I thought i overheard the guy tending the shop say to someone else that they'll be there for 4 days, so i tot if i went back on thurdday, they'll still be there.
BUT on thursday, when i went to the FOrum, the bazzar was replaced by some IT exhibition.I WAS HORRIFIED and so disappointed. but i told God, "you cannot be like that that, i really liked that dress, you need to somehow show me where else to get it or let me meet the shop guy at the sde building." (there's where my studio is and where that guy is as well because he was a BRE student). But somehow in my spirit, i knew that it was "in God's plan". Of course i was horrified that i'll never be able to find that dress again. But i pleaded so hard with God to find me that exact dress again!!!!
So today, after lessons, i took a bus 33. Usually i'll take 30, but i don't know why today i tot to myself, i din mind the longer ride. 33 went past bugis street and suddenly i felt this excitement to go shopping at bugis street. i was tired but i felt like shopping. So i was saying to God that he must come shopping with me and hopefully he'll also help me find that dress. I felt God smiling quietly when i asked him if i should reallie just go shopping. 3 times i asked him, 3 times he just smiled. so i alighted the bus and went shopping.
winding through the alleys of bugis street, i kept praying and praying.. hahaha that was how much i wanted to find that dress. u noe it's funny, how i kept saying to myself, it's getting nearer. of course i wasn't sure if i was kidding myself. But anyway, i just prayed. HEY, you know what???...!!!! actuallie on the bus i was reading the parable of the persistent widowwww!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSHHHHHH!!!!!!!=)
anyway.. i just stepped into this shop with lots of flowery stuff. i was just looking through the racks when SUDDDEEEENNNDDDLLLLYYY I SPOTTED MY DRESSSSS!!!!.. THE EXACT DESIGN AND EVEN MORE DESIGNS TO CHOOSE FROM!!!.. and it was only $13!!!!!!!!!!i was so excited that i kept telling the lady at the shop how happy i was!!!!!!!!!!.. i wanted to say you know how much i was praying to find this dress, but i was too scared to do it.. so i din.. but at least now i'm telling you all righhhtttt=)..
ok sorry i know it's just a dresss.. i dunno if i reallie reallie like the dress now.. hahahaha BUT I TREASURE IT LOTS, because god came shopping with meeee!!!!!.. wahahhahahhahhaha... couldn't stop smiling as i was walking home.. mayb i'll wear it for christmas huh!.. =)
Go shopping with Jesus!.. He's such great company.. and he just loves giving surprises!!!! IN HIS TIMINGGGG!!! and GOD CARES EVEN ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGSSS!!!..i waiittttttt!!!!!
Luke 12:26-28
26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
27"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!
went dinner with my family today to celebrate my bro's 17th birthday.
over dinner, my ma told me that when i was young, she took me swimming.
i was on the ducky float and my ma was pulling me along.
she said she suddenly felt the need to turn back and check on me.
when she did, she was aghast! because i was missing from the ducky float.
after her initial shock, she ducked her head under water to see if i was there.
and presto! i was. i was sitting at the bottom of the pool!
my ma she said she quickly scouped me up.
she said wah i dunno why suddenly i felt the nudge to check on you. So lucky ah.
but i noe.
=)
God was there.
and that's how it's been.
for all these times,
He's just always been there quietly waiting for me to say,
Lord i love you.
He's been protecting me.
and He will continue to do so.
He has someone who'll protect me
Just as he has given me my frens,
all who love God.
all's been done.
thank you.   
 What is the scariest situation to be in when you are in the toilet?
I KNOWWWWW!!
GETTING BUSTED BY MR FLYING COCKROACH.
i was taking my dump. On the verge of getting to feel that sense of satisfaction the moment that nice solid piece of shit has fully emerged from the squeeze, when my ears SUDDENLY picked up a steady staccoto of fluttering against the aluminium grills.BULLSHIT.
i tell you that is SOOOOO paralysing. how to run out of the bathroom with ur ass unwiped, what more shit still dangling from your asssss??? hate those situations. =)
ok had my time of sharing. Peace out.
wahahhahahahahha.. below is my research after my close-brush with that disgusting thing. ahaha..
Oak Grove Middle School Science Class
Animal Experiments on Flying
with Professor Full
Hypothesis: Fast runners can't be fast fliers.
A. Measure wing loading for the flying cockroach.
Wing loading equals the body mass of the animal divided by its wing area. Faster fliers have higher wing loading numbers. Fast fliers (flies, bees) have values of 0.4, whereas slow fliers (butterflies)
have values of 0.04. Is the cockroach a fast flyer?Body mass = 4 grams
Wing loading = Body mass / Wing area
Here is the cockroach "flying". We measured wing loading for the flying cockroach. Our value was 0.2. It was between the larger and smaller values. The cockroach may be able to fly fast and run fast, but it's not the fastest for either.
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